The Nuts In My Life

For I am the product of the food I eat

First peanut butter on toast
with a bit of berry jam
is yummy no one can question
when I eat you I have excellent 
digestion

Almond butter was often
a wonderful treat
until I took an allergy test
and was seriously advised 
these nuts-- do not overeat!

Brazil nuts from South America
hard and substantial
and for the feeling of a whole meal
just gobble a handful

Tan brown bumpy walnuts 

native to the Southern parts

of western California

bring back memories
of cracking them
together with holiday chestnuts
great for the omelette
a natural antihistamine
to cure a stuffy nose
Why walnuts you are so resourceful
I do say I love you so...

Ahhh the little round hazelnut
when you are mixed 
with a bit of chocolate
you turn the red strawberry
into sheer magic and merry...

And then Southern pecan
Dearest pecans 
pop pop popping as you hit the ground
and shooting roots up 
for a tree here there and everywhere
because in Austin this 
gracious tree does abound
so lovely for a pecan pie
or even for a kale garlic summer stir fry

Feeling nutty? 
feeling crazy?
if not allergic to them
gather all the nuts you can find
and just chop sprinkle crunch 
or even bake them.  

Engulfed Coast 2005

The sound of a lonely flute
waves crashing on a Southern beach
the cry of a hundred thousand souls
rising above the chaos
leaving behind
thousands more in the wails and grief
the lonely flute is the call of our
shared humanity
the cries are the gentle goodbyes
we must make
as the waves of history recede
and return with yet another example
of our grotesque indifference
our penalty for failing
to heed the lonely
call for
compassion.

Oak Park, IL September 2005

Mr. Rex's Lesson Plan

The breeze from the fan
tickles my poodle's long hair
he lays at my feet trusting

His species spelled backwards is God
whose eyes I see when he gives me that 
Old Soul's look and tells me 

"You are much too controlling my love
and I have something to teach you
about yourself and your constant hurrying

Do for one like me

lay here in communion with a hard 
wooden floor
now and then 
a short separation between me 
and Mother Earth
feel the support and the space
to breathe in and out
to have puppy dreams
and frolic through the streets
free of harness and collar
to catch a rabbit's tail
or smell a squirrel's butt

Let go of all worries
after a walk and a meal 
and some drink
be mellow
and feel
the gentle breeze 
listening to the whirr of the fan 
as it caresses my long hair 
and my black nose 
taking me to no where and no worries land
for a nap 
or deep snoring sleep."

Your Yin and My Goddamned Yang

I am still wearing our last phone call
around my neck
I wore it to the theatre tonight
it itched at my collar 
and when I smoothed my scarf 
your tense appeal to me for Reason!
stuck out like a 
forgotten sales tag
and scratched at me for attention

I pushed down the fold of my coat
hard against my chest
as if I were trying to keep 
your wrath from strangling my 
half smile as the movie played

One hour passed and I left my mind
enough to crawl into the pants of the 
lovely Cameron Diaz 
on the wide screen
with her flashing smile and blue eyes
that sadly 
and for just one second into the 
second hour reminded me of yours 
and I took her tears
and gave them to us 
to share in silence 
and apart
until we can meet again 
and remember the real reason
why our talks
turn into fights 
when we forget
that though we can't 
now be together
we really are going to be alright.

Oak Park, IL 2005 

The Fall

This 
is the void 
I think I will fall into 
the abyss of a hungry
and long second of time
the unknown 
asking if your mind 
is on the road in front of you
or if troubled waters invade
and drown out
thoughts of us
canoeing together across
the river of this time
or taking a turn into change

This 
is the canyon I cannot walk easily
looking for a guide
I face up to the sky
hear an eagle's cry
stare down at the mile long trap
feel the tug of emptiness in my bowels
the panic of uncertainty
at my throat
the wanting of your breath next to my face
the missing you is 
sharp as the edge
where I stand now
about to fall 

in love.

December 2005, Austin TX

Austin On My Mind

Austin is on my mind

in point 

that aloe vera I planted in the garden 

last week

the row of pansies and petunias 

pushing up and sprouting from 

a warming ground

Texas bluebonnets on my mind

the first I ever saw

in the haze of new romance

thinking I was fancy free

but my heart was in fact in a knot of confused 

friendship

a big hearty Texas girl

enveloping me in a hug of cheer

saying let's go for a drive m'dear 

catch the bluebonnets

bring the new puppy along

pretend you've got all the time

in the world to laugh and play 

and care not of what's left undone

at the end of the day

Austin on my mind 

specifically a triplex on Palma Plaza and Woodlawn

smiling dykey friends and so many others 

that I love

how I yearn for your voices and one of your hugs

Yes, Texas on my mind 

as I sit in fiercely cold Chicago 

facing another

day of toil 

grey wintry skies and 

maybe having to pull out the shovel. 

Oak Park, IL 2004 

Maybe

A cloudy poet's mind
caught up in the daily grind
she looks askance
neighbors walking by 
in their own trance
"I want to dance" 
she thinks 

bemused by the idea 
of judgment and remorse
she caps the pen 
with a wry smile 
observing
how the poet's mind 
can be so unkind. 

Oak Park, 2004