Weenie Power

What would it be like
to really tell you to your face
how enraged I finally am at you
and your fellow weenies
but especially you
in your representative capacity
as the head of this
institution
of petrified attitudes
for all the ways in which
you contributed to
the devastating loss
of my academic dreams?


What would you say if
I suddenly appeared
out of nowhere
minutes after you’d just
finished brushing your teeth
and were still adjusting
the collar of your shirt
and pulling on your tie
my presence seeming like
the fulfillment
of a nightmare
of meeting up with
a VERY ANGRY WOMAN
who with raging fire
spewing from my eyes
my pores
my hands like
laser swords
aimed at your
groin and shouting
You !
Hey you!
wearing that
cloth of power
Yeah you!
with the
stinking cigar
and the
vest decorated
with the nails
left over from
sealing my
professional coffin?

Yes, what would
you do if
you understood
that you’d buried
my spirit alive
and that
I’ve come back
from the land of
those presumed
a fatality
under one of the
rails of the tenure-track
and that it is burning
a set of footprints
on your doormat
as I await the
moment of
seeing you
buckle
just for a second
and reach for your
weenie whistle
and the aid of
your subjects
those marzipan soldiers
who confused
the Tin Man
for a leader
and like frightened roaches
are scurrying off
to other corners
under the
flashing lights
of the public’s scrutiny?

What would you do
Oh gracious leader
with your Cheshire cat smile
what would you do
if you understood
finally
that sandwiched between
my rage and my anger
there is an old wound
now covered up with scars
and that
I’ve just come back
to caution you
stay out of the way
of the healed warrior
who has reclaimed her power

I tell you what
don’t tell me what you’d do
I don’t really care
what’s more important
is that in this mind’s eye
I’ve got a six shooter
on my hip
we’re on a dirt street
in front of that shameful parlor
they call a learned hall of legal education
and you’ve got one too
but it’s me and my target-practiced
fury against you
and your
little weenie
power

June 1998, Kripalu,
Lenox, MASS.