Anniversary

it’s the anniversary today of my

throwing your ring away

amd  my surrendering to

the decision to finally let you go

it’s the anniversary of so many

precious and painful moments I remember

of us together or apart

it’s the anniversary of that

firey moment in my

tiny kitchen on a

freezing New Year’s Day

when my eyes locked into your stare

as I clutched at my cup of cider

and chatted with you about nothing

as I played the  hostess

and shyly let you follow me like an adorable pup

begging for my touch and a gentle hug

and it’s the anniversary of our

first little breakup (of more to come)

and my days of crazy thinking

that if I just kissed a few other people

I’d forget the way you’d broken my heart

of course

we know what happened

as my fragile will gave way 7 weeks later

to your  plaintive cry :

“please oh please don’t leave me yet,

it’s your birthday

and a great time for making up”

and it’s also the anniversary

just a wisp of a year

after having been lovers

of immersing myself in the fantasy

that one day you and

I would truly work it out

and today still another year later

it’s the second day of a year

of knowing

that love is not about going crazy

or constantly breaking up

and that  forever as a lover

the memory of you

and your traitorous charm

are happily erased from my own precious life

yes, it’s the third anniversary of

my chance encounter

with a woman whose passion

wouldn’t let me go

and whose fear fought my

ever coming back 

oh how painfully sweet

I remember how we danced,

and made love

how we fed, and yes,

tortured each other

and how glad  I am to leave behind

the memories of

my hypnotic love

for your smile,

your wit and

your sneaking bittersweet charm

happy anniversary

dear memory

it was six months of passion and laughter

and two years of sobbing as

I crawled back to my own life

happy anniversary, love

I miss you

and then when I think about it

I don’t.