Casino loss

My love for your didn't suffer
not too much
My hopes for you got
a bit trampled in the rush to deal
with the truth
My own expectations of your ability
to face reality are lying on a bed
in a seedy hospital unlikely
to recover without a lot of help
My desire to see you get better
overwhelms my trust
and patience in you
and that is my problem
I cannot
or have not
surrendered you
and your addiction
to something greater than us
And today I just
want a cigarrette
and I gave up smoking 20 years ago
and I want a beer
which I hate
and I want a bus ticket and a sleeping bag
and a whole different place on this
mental planet to lay
my aching heart
and throbbing head.

August 2005